Jeff Bezos threw the most expensive wedding since the fall of the Roman Empire – and guess what? While Jeff dropped $$$ and has a yacht the size of Belgium, I’m melting away in my Berlin office, trying to thrift a cute bridesmaid dress.
Let’s get one thing straight: you can recycle & shop second-hand till the end of time – but one billionaire’s wedding will cancel out your entire climate karma. Billionaires aren’t just rich. They’re climate liabilities dressed in linen.
Jeff’s Wedding Nightmare: Love Ain’t Excusing That 💔
Jeff Bezos’ wedding apparently cost $~25M. While this is more than most people ever get to see in several lifetimes, this was less than 0.01% of his net worth. Just so we’re clear on this. He could throw this exact wedding for every single day for the next 26 years and still be a billionaire. Hold on a sec, while I recover from this fact.
[author trying to recover]
Who’s really paying for this?
So, while Bezos rented an island in Venice and flew in the Kardashians for his weekend-long celebration, his own company – you know, Amazon – continues to squeeze every last drop of productivity out of workers who literally have to pee in bottles because they can’t take bathroom breaks. His wealth didn’t just appear out of thin air – it came from somewhere. From someone’s labor.
How to Marry Sustainably 👰🏻♂️
🚫 No destination weddings (unless it’s your cousin’s backyard)
💍 Vintage rings > blood diamonds
🕊️ Local food > flown-in foie gras
💐 Potted plants > bouquets (also make for great gifts)
📸 Disposable cameras > rented drone crew
♻️ Plan for food waste disposal & recycling
🚎 Carpooling & shuttle services > parking lot clutter
🥦 Veggie menus that not even your grannie will complain about
🪑 Rented deko > junk you’ll only use once
👗 Thrifted dresses > €10k couture
👰🏻♂️ check out some second-hand wedding dresses >> 👰🏼♀️
Billionaires Are A Natural Disaster 💥
This obviously isn’t just about one wedding (we’re not THAT petty). It’s about what happens when individual humans accumulate wealth that rivals the GDP of entire countries. They’re not just rich people with more money. They’re a systemic problem. When someone can casually spend the equivalent of a small country’s healthcare budget on a party, it shows how broken our system has become.
Mega Yacht, Mega Yikes 🛥️
One ultra-rich European on their yacht emits as much CO₂ in a single year as the average European does in 585 years. And these are regular yachts, not even Jeff Bezos yacht-monster. Not just does this boat have its own Wikipedia entry. This yacht has its own yacht. We’ll repeat that:
A yacht… that has a yacht.
Bonus: in case you own a yacht, here’s a yacht CO2 calculator 😉
Overconsumption As A Personality Trait 🛍️
Okay, given it’s Jeff Bezos – the industry daddy of e-commerce – this doesn’t really shock us.
But billionaires don’t shop. They hoard wealth.
Think: new wardrobe every season, cars that match outfits, houses redecorated out of boredom, and private jet trips inspired by TikToks. Their existence is the boss level of overconsumption.
Mansion Mania 🏰
Multiple mega-mansions, mostly empty.
Singles living in spaces that could house entire villages.
Climate change aside – how did we get here?
Space Tourism Vanity Projects 🚀
…
We’ll just leave it at that.
Commuting by Plane ✈️
The average ultra-rich European takes 140 flights a year.
That’s more CO₂ than an average person emits in over 112 years.
Still Don’t Believe Us?
Climate-change caused impacts linked to EU’s richest 1% emissions:
– have shrunk the global economy by $179 billion since 1990
– the crop losses attributed to their emissions could have fed 900.000 people / year (1990-2023)
– their emissions are projected to cause ~80.000 heat-related deaths (2020-2120)
Would You Marry A Billionaire?
☐ Marriage? In this economy?
☐ Maybe, if they thrift & compost
☐ Yes, but only to seize their assets
☐ Ew, Jeff?? Absolutely not
So, while I’m still deciding whether to marry a billionaire just to funnel their fortune into the social welfare system and become the modern-day Robyn Hood… one thing’s clear: wealth comes with responsibility.
Right now, the richest are outsourcing that to the rest of us. Guess someone was right when they said “Eat the rich”…
Warmest regards from the depths of my last nerve,
Lea and your friends at Faircado 
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